Mumps?

Well took my sick little man to the doctor and he is now in Quarantine til we get back the result of his Mumps swab! 3 days til we know. How does anyone get mumps these days? Not a happy mummy right now!

Distractions to study

Corrospondence Study is great when you have little ones at home, but sometimes it can be difficult lol

New Direction

Well its been a long long time and so much in my life has changed since my last entry, so in reflection to this its a time for change on here too. memrax the business is now on the back burner while I complete my Diploma in Comminity Services. the kids are back at mainstream school and Hubb's music has also been put ion the back burner now he is working a regular job.
Are the changes positive? financially yes.....but I feel we have lost our idealism and are bowing down to a society which I think is mislead in its ideal, but as much as my hippy side hates to say it.....money is good!

love a self loathing hippy wanna be lol

The fog is clearing

Yay after 7 days my zombie like state seems to have dulled. My thoughts seem much clearer and I haven't been drifting off to la la land. Motivation is still very low and still feeling extremely tired, but a heap better then I was!
Thinking about some more craft ideas and things I would like to make for Memrax.

Here's to getting better

Cheers x

Officially a teenager

13 years ago today at 8.29 am I, a scared 17 year old, welcomed my little baby into the world. My mum and dad were with me and after a 9 1/2 hour labour I was exhausted.

Today my beautiful girl is turning 13 and what a journey it has been. I am so proud of the sweet natured, attractive young lady she is becoming, despite the challenges she has already had to face ( too many) in her short life.

As I look at my 9 month old it seems incredible that she was ever that young, as I watch him getting closer to taking his first steps, I remember all the first I share with my lil Miss.

First smile, first laugh, first roll, crawl, time sitting up, tooth. First word ( bub), her first time seeing her little sister and brothers, her first preschool boyfriend and her first day at school. So many precious memories to hold onto as she grows and her new lot of firsts become her own.

I hope I have raised her with moral integrity, I hope she thrives in what ever paths she chooses to persue. I hope she looks back on ( most) her her childhood with fondness and has good memories of Mum.

But most of all I hope she finds true happiness in what ever shape it is for her.

Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl xxx

Set back

I have been a bit quiet as I had a set back, a complete break down to be completely honest. I did the unthinkable for me, and slapped my husband across the face. I went into shock straight afterwards at the strength of my own anger. Thankfully my husband forgave me and although things are strained between us. We are trying to work things out.
Violence is not ever acceptable and the shame I feel is very deep.

So I have organized counseling (had my first session over the phone the next morning) and seen my doctor for some medicinal treatment as well.

Today is day six on meds, and the first day that I don't feel like a complete zombie. I have been sleeping a heap, but am still feeling really tired. I had a massive cry last night when hubby went out for the third night in a row. I know he is just chatting and drinking coffee with his friend, but I hate it. I want adult interaction, it's me who carries the whole load with the kids and never gets a reprieve.

There is a very immature part of me that wants to pay him back, by doing the same thing to him, but you need to know people to do that. And then a more logical part of me says, why is the immature it's just taking care of your own mental health and needs like he is. It would be interesting to see how he would react if the shoe was on the other foot.

In happier news I have officially been a mum for 13 years today, but I will do a separate post for that xx

3rd birthday fun

Well today my little man is turning 3! I can't believe how fast it's gone.

This time 3 years ago I was discussing syntocin with my midwife as my labour was failing to establish itself after a membrane rupture. I was excited and scared and had soo many thoughts running through my head. How would I cope with 4 children? How would the big kids cope with having a baby in the house?

But today I am enjoying the peace and quiet of lil man being at Granny's following his first ever sleep over with her. Checking my brother in laws Facebook statuses to make sure things are running smoothly and greatly relieved that the cake turned out ok, and doesn't look half bad with my meager cake decorating skills. It was a worry since my kids birthday cakes book has already been packed for the move, but I googled train cake images and got my creative groove on.
Soo happy it turned out so well!